Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
