Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
