bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
4 words: hood of his car
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She bit a glass in half.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
