I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
