God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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