I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
