I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
