Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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