never play flip cup with pint glasses
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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