God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
