HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A+ Viking dick
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize