I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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