Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
