She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
