Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
