i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
