I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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