I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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