hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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