Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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