get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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