Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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