last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
