Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
why do cheetos always look like penises
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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