ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There r osticjed everywhere
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
