my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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