For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
