You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
