In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Boobs speak an international language.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
