I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
