She said her name was "party"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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