are you so shy because you have an std?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
