plz talk dirty to me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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