Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
