he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
