Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
