I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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