I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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