That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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