i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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