I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
birth control should be required to get into college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
