i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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