You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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