her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize