My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
