i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
