My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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