Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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