HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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