Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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