You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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