i just had sex bonerless
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
