he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
