Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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