He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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