Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
